Ice Cream, Parque Central and Cashew Selling Boy

Aug 11, 2009

Granada, Nicaragua



We are sitting in Parque Central having an ice cream as it is unbearably hot and there is still a little bit of time before our shuttle leaves for Lago de Apoyo. A boy selling bags of cashews comes by and sits down next to us on the bench. Would we like some nuts? No thanks. He stays and kinda hangs out. He takes our ice cream wrappers and runs them to th trash can. He wears his baseball cap on a slant to indicate that he's got a bit of street in him, that he is cool. He at first mimics us and kinda makes fun of us, then he chats with us while keeping an eye on all the girls that walks by. He is 10 years old. He has been selling nuts on the street for 5 years now. He doesn't go to school because he can't afford to. He asks us for some of our water and we hand him the bottle. He takes a drink and tries to hand it back. We indicate that he can keep the bottle. He down the half liter that is left in one gulp and chucks the bottle aside (not in the trash but he walked our ice cream wrappers to the trash can). We wish him well and walk away. What can we do? Buying a bag a over priced nuts will not ensure a better life for him, maybe sharing our water and a bit of our time is all we can ever do.



*picture to come

Charlie Grosso

www.charliegrosso.com

310-592-0895

Children...

July 19, 2009
San Cristobal, Mexico
Elevation 2349m

There is some sort of fire department demonstration in the plaza today. The fireman rigs the children up in a harness and they are pulled to the higher end and let go, they are essentially sliding down a zip line. There are these two small boys, selling gum and candy out of the little wooden tray they carry, they stand there and watch the other kids go up and down the zip line.

The haves and the have nots. Right there in front of me, as children.

A few days back when I was at Bonampak, there were these three girls running around the ruins. The youngest (5 years old) would ask for money when people want to take her pictures. I sat down in a shady spot for a little bit while waiting for my group and the girls surrounds me wanting to see what shiny things I had with me.

I don't make a practice of giving anyone money in exchange for a photo but if I have any kind of candy or pen or chap sticks on me, I am happy to give it to them. But mostly, I just talk to them, even if its out of a phrase book. I try to make them laugh and try to understand a little bit more.

As we are leaving, the girls are following behind, saying something to me in Spanish and I don't understand them. This American woman who is part of my group asks me if I gave them any money and then started to tell me about how she turned down leopards in India. How sometimes the parents would purposely hurt the child so the child would be better at begging. I know what she is telling me to be true. I tell her that I know but does she not feel bad for them? She says that she doesn't.

They are FUCKING children. How could you not feel bad? Where the fuck is your compassion? Even if there is not much you can do in the situation, you can at least feel, you can at least have compassion.

Babies and James Bond

Nov 13, 2008
Los Angeles, Ca

I never pictured myself as a mother. I don't want children cause they don't really make any sense to me. I wanted to be James Bond plus MacGyver . To be working for a "greater" cause, ruthless and suave, unshaken by anything. Women are never mad that Bond could never committee and they are simply happy to have the pleasure and privilege to have been the ONE for the night. Bond girls knew that Bond is never meant to be the husband who takes out the trash and mows the lawn. I wanted to be MacGyver just in case when the issued gadgets fail, I could make my own instead. How liberating life can be when all you need is a coke can and a stick of gum to get you out of any situation?

Last night at our friend Elif's, I watched her interact with her 4 year old son, Anatol. If I ever had a moment in which I wanted a child, I think I felt it last night. It is not a child that I want, but what I envied was the bond and connection between the two of them. All Anatol ever needs is his mother, it wouldn't matter that there are riots on the street or the house is on fire, as long as he can be held by his mom, all is well. To see that contentment and pure joy in Elif when she is with her boy - so untainted by anything - it made me wish for the purity of that love.

Looking at Anatol, I can't help but be excited for him and yet sad at the same time. There is still so much for him to experience, to learn. First love, first kiss, first car, first epiphany, first everything. Yet, he still has to learn about heart break, disappointment, rejection and bell bottom pants. Elif's heart will travel with him through all the ups and downs and I wonder if this is not a devil's bargain after all.

Maybe that is why I wanted to be James Bond. It is easier when your life is your own and there is no one waiting for you at home. Bond might be more glamorous and exciting, but maybe he is not the brave one after all.