A Delicate Balance

Sept 9, 2009
Johnson, Vermont

It is day 10 here at the artist residency and I am still having trouble finding that perfect balance. I have so much work that I need to get through before I am back on the road again. Editing, scanning, cleaning and dealing with the images from the last trip is a month's worth of work and I am trying to get it completed in 2 weeks. I want to do a little bit more research on the next project and maybe get that started. I would like to get some writing done. There are lots and lots of ideas kicking around up there, the hamsters have been working over time and there is an avalanche that needs to come out. In short, there is a lot of work to do.

Yet, I am in Johnson Vermont, a small town, surrounded by some wonderful artists, writers, beautiful beautiful people who have a uniquely different perspective on life, art and what not. I would like to get to know them. I would like to know their stories and what they dream about. I am being offered a community of like minded people and I want to take advantage of that.

Its a struggle every day between locking myself away in the studio and work until I can't keep my eyes open anymore or go out and socialize with the other artists. A delicate balance of work and play that I seem to have trouble finding. I know I am not the only one. This very same conversation of balance comes up during meals (I know that its ridiculous that I think it takes too much time out of my day to share 3 meals a day with the other artists) and I am comforted to know that I am not the only workaholic present.

Is it weird to feel that life was a lot easier on the road? I shoot in the morning when its not a day spent in transit. I walk around the rest of the day and photograph whatever else that captures my imagination. The hours in between the nitty gritty of survival (food, laundry and lodging) is for me to read, to wonder, to sight see, to day dream, to write, to hunt down coffee and Oreos. The residency is supposed to take away all the distractions of daily life yet I find myself even more perplexed and stressed than I would be otherwise.

Life is a constant push and pull of opposites and you just hope that you can make it to the end without being torn apart by the force fields.

*Photograph courtsey of Frank Jackson, a dear dear friend and a fantastic photographer.

Johnson Vermont and Artist Camp

Aug 31, 2009
Johnson, Vermont
Elevation 157m

I arrived this morning after a red eye flight to Burlington Vermont. I am here because I have been awarded a fellowship for a 4 week artist residency program. We are picked up by a shuttle service and we drive an hour out side of Burlington to a small town called Johnson.

It is beautiful here. Blue sky, puffy white clouds, green hills, trees everywhere and hillside dotted with cute wooden houses. It is so quaint and picture perfect that you think you are on a movie set. The kind of Americana that exists here is pretty, yet something in its quaintness that solicit some kind of violent reaction in me. I don't want to say that this reality here is not "real," but yet, there is a part of it that is not real. I don't know how to explain it. I am hoping that its one of those you get it or you don't kind of thing.

The Vermont Studio Center has about 30 buildings in the town of Johnson, and when I say town, I mean a street where you can see one end of it while standing at the opposite end. We get our room assignments, our studios, a tour of the Center and the town. During the tour, we are told that there is no liquor here in town, beer and wine only. For liquor, you would have to visit another town where there is a state licensed liquor store. I then imagined Tom Waits and Charles Bukowski (if they would ever attend a residency program) walking out at the mention of the inaccessibility of liquor, tossing their cigarettes behind saying, "What kind of artist do you think we are?!"

Clearly I will not be creating any new images for "Wok the Dog" while I am here in rural Vermont, but I have 63 rolls to edit and scan and a few other projects that I am trying to flush out. There is plenty to keep me busy. I think the idea of the residency isn't so much about what you CREATE as much as it is that you have this time, this space, slotted and set aside for you to work on your art, whatever that may be. But naturally the Asian overachiever in me is all about WHAT CAN I MAKE and HOW MUCH CAN I GET DONE? I swear, between being a type A and implented with the overachiever gene, I will either rule the world one day or end up in a straight jacket muttering, "must do more!"

At the welcome dinner, Jon, the founder, talks about the idea of VSC and the opportunity and sacrifice that we made to be here. One thing that he talks about that really touched me is the idea of the community. Not only are we afforded the time and space to work without having to worry about meals, we have been granted this community of national and international artists of various age, experience, career development and discipline to be a part of. A community that understand the isolation that is required as we work and practice but also a chance to not be in our heads and our minds only and be inspired and perhaps even take a part in someone else's work. I really like the idea. Now, I just have to find that balance between keeping my head down and get as much done as I can verus just hanging out with my friends. The overachiever thinks we can do it all, even if it means we sleep less and work late.